If you’re wondering if I’m a fan of the Jonas Brothers, who were just announced as the Twisted Tea Grey Cup Halftime Show at the 111th Grey Cup, why don’t you ask my “Team Jonas” Jonas Brothers Fan Club card from 2009 or the ticket stubs from the two concerts I’ve gone to see them live at.
So, am I a fan?
You bet I am and I’m so excited to see them play at BC Place later this year. Get your tickets for the game here starting on June 4 and you can see them too!
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I was thinking of ways to connect Nick, Joe and Kevin to football and the CFL (other than with their song Pom Poms and the accompanying video for it where they perform in what appears to be an empty football field) and what better way than naming a Jonas Brothers song for every CFL team?
Keep in mind I’m Only Human, and When You Look Me In The Eyes, please don’t tell me these aren’t Cool. Hold On, this is going to be fun.
MUCH BETTER | EVERY PLAYER ON A NEW TEAM
Let’s start with a song that can apply not to a single team, but to any player who swapped colours this off-season.
Before I get into that, however, I just wanted to note that Much Better has long been believed to be a Taylor Swift diss track. And I, a Taylor Swift hater (sorry Swifties) enjoy this song oh-so-much. Joe Jonas and Taylor were dating back in 2008 and according to this song, it doesn’t seem to have ended well. I think my favourite lyric is: “Now I’m done with superstars and all the tears on her guitar. I’m not bitter.”
Sure, Joe… deeeefinitely sounds like you’re not bitter.
Anyways, back to football. The overall theme of this song is that they are “much better” with their new girl than they were with their ex. How can you not think that players on new teams are feeling that way too? They are absolutely loving their new teams after breaking up with their old ones.
A LITTLE BIT LONGER | OTTAWA REDBLACKS
“A little bit longer and I’ll be fine” is what Joe, Nick and Kevin serenade on this track and that philosophy can apply to the REDBLACKS.
It’s been a few seasons since Ottawa has had a winning record but as we all know in this league, things can change so quickly. All the REDBLACKS (and their fans) need to do is wait a little bit longer and everything will be fine.
TURN RIGHT | MONTREAL ALOUETTES
I admit this might be the biggest stretch on this list.
Turn Right makes me think of turning right on a racetrack and what team has a track at their stadium? The Montreal Alouettes. I told you…. It’s a stretch. Let me have this, okay?
AUSTRALIA | SASKATCHEWAN ROUGHRIDERS
You have to ignore the lyrics completely in this song for this connection to click. The actual content of this song doesn’t really makes sense for any CFL team BUT with a name like Australia, how could you not think of the Aussie punters in the CFL?
Let’s connect this song with the Saskatchewan Roughriders and their punter, Adam Korsak. Because.. he’s.. from Australia. Get it?
I AM WHAT I AM | EDMONTON ELKS
This song could probably apply to any of the nine teams, but I’m going to give it to the Elks.
The overall theme of this song is the trio saying, “I’m exactly who I am, deal with it” when they sing, “I am what I am, I can’t help myself and if you don’t like it, get with somebody else. I’ll never change my ways, it’s not a phase. This is how it is and this is how it’s gonna stay.”
And I think there’s a lot of ballers on the Elks who could easily say that, too. Next IG caption for one of them, perhaps? Looking at you, Eugene Lewis. You’re welcome.
BURNIN’ UP | CALGARY STAMPEDERS
Yes, I know this is a song about someone tumbling into burning passionate love with someone else (and is, in my opinion, the best Jonas Brothers song out there). It doesn’t make a lot of sense for a football team…or does it?
The Stampeders wear red uniforms and Nick says his iconic “red dress” line in this one. Red and red. Connection made.
JONAS BROTHERS.
VANCOUVER. @TWISTEDTEA #GREYCUP HALFTIME SHOW.
LET’S GO!
💻: https://t.co/91eeWZYTZZ pic.twitter.com/cEjpyUjMof
— CFL (@CFL) June 3, 2024
7:05 | TORONTO ARGONAUTS
Again, this is another one that you need to completely ignore the lyrics and overall theme of the song for it to make sense in the CFL world.
But 7:05 sounds dangerously close to the usual 7:07 p.m. ET kickoff time that most Toronto Argonauts home games start at. Right? Right? Wait, why are you rolling your eyes?
COOL | WINNIPEG BLUE BOMBERS
Cool is all about being just that: cool.
The guys sing about being the coolest people in the room and Willie Jefferson is the coolest person I’ve ever met. This one could be written specifically for Willie, honestly.
PLAY MY MUSIC (CAMP ROCK) | BC LIONS
This technically isn’t a Jonas Brothers original song, but it was the most iconic song from the hit Disney movie Camp Rock (I had to watch Camp Rock 1 and 2 the night before this announcement went live just to get prepared. It’s called research, duh.).
“I just wanna play my music,” the guys sing.
You know who else wants to just play their music? The BC Lions.
In the last three years, the Lions have had the most epic kickoff performers: One Republic, LL Cool J and, this year, 50 Cent. And the year they’re hosting the 111th Grey Cup, they’ve gotten Jonas Brothers. They do like to play their music.
WHAT A MAN GOTTA DO? | HAMILTON TIGER-CATS
In this Jo Bros song, the trio sing, “So, what a man gotta do? What a man gotta do?” and to me, that seems like the Ticats could be saying the same thing.
What’s a team gotta do to win the Grey Cup? They do hold the longest Grey Cup drought in the CFL, not lifting the coveted trophy since 1999, after all. So what’s a team gotta do to lift the trophy?
